Deathbed Confessions
by Katheryn Mae
Summary: House and Cuddy have left many things unsaid in their past, when Cuddy is on her deathbed, is it too late to finally open up? Or will that just make it worse? HUDDY. Main character death.


AN: Just so everyone knows, this is my most "medically-based" story, and I warn you, it's really angsty. *offers tissues ahead of time* And, by the way, Cuddy never got Rachel, it messes up the story too much. Thanks also to CassidyTVNut for the title suggestion, that's the reason it took me almost two months to go from plot bunny to being posted.

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_"Things left unsaid often lead us to feel regret. But things said too late often make us wish we could turn back the hands of time."_ - Me.

"House," Wilson opened the door to his office, spotting his best friend sitting on the couch. He crossed the office and sat on the desk, "Let's go, everyone else is going to talk to her. Besides, you're her attending, and you'll need to change her meds." Getting up, he grasped House's shoulder and pulled him up, forcing him towards the door.

"I'm going to change her meds," House limped out of the room, "But there's no way I will be staying after to talk to her." He slammed the door shut, only to let Wilson reopen it and follow him out. The two of them stepped onto the elevator, where Foreman, Thirteen and Cameron had joined them. They rode down to the elevator in silence and got off, making their way to a quiet corner of the patient wing. Knocking, Wilson slid open the door, Cameron, Thirteen and Foreman following him in, and after a few moments, House followed as well.

"What?" Cuddy looked up from where she was curled on the bed, setting the book she had been reading aside, "There's nothing new to tell me." Wilson pulled a chair besides her, squeezing her shoulder, and waved in Chase and Taub, who had knocked. Foreman and Thirteen stood by the doorway, along with Taub, while Chase and Cameron stood opposite Wilson by the bed.

"Of course there isn't," Cameron began quietly, "we … all … want to say," her voice caught, "…goodbye." Chase put an arm around her shoulder and nodded, but Cameron went on. "We all..." she stopped and leaned forwards, hugging Cuddy gently.

"It's okay," she accepted the hug gratefully, then three more as Taub, Foreman and Chase hugged her quickly. Foreman pulled Taub and Cameron out of the room once they had said what they called to be their goodbyes, leaving Wilson, House, Thirteen and Chase alone with Cuddy. Leaning down, Chase glanced at House, before whispering into Cuddy's ear.

"We'll keep an eye on him," he whispered, before standing up, "Don't worry too much." Cuddy smiled, raising a hand in farewell as Chase slid the door shut behind him. Thirteen moved forwards quickly, a few tears dotting her cheeks, and hugged Cuddy tightly.

"I'm honored, though it's painful to see you here, Dr. Cuddy, that you could be my last patient here." She pulled back, seeing Cuddy's eyes alight with laughter.

"Don't worry Dr. Hadley, I'm glad you're honored, even though you're right." She laughed slightly, as Thirteen left, before looking towards House, who was standing besides the door, and Wilson, who sat besides her. House moved towards the bed, unhooking the IV and changing it quietly, before taking his post up besides the door.

"Bye Lisa," He leaned forwards, hugging her tightly, "You're a great friend, honestly, I don't know where'd I be without your friendship."

"We probably wouldn't be talking to each other." House interrupted, "If Cuddy hadn't forced you to take me to my dad's funeral then you wouldn't have realized what you were missing." He was standing by the door as if he was going to leave, even though he hadn't spoken directly to Cuddy yet, and he looked awfully tired.

"I guess," Wilson turned to face Cuddy, "But thanks." He kissed her cheek, ignoring the tears that were slipping down his cheeks, "I just don't know what to say Lisa, I'll miss you."

"Me too," she nodded, "bye Wilson."

He stepped back and paused besides the door, hoping to will some niceness into his friend. "You have to tell her House, it could be your last chance." Wilson hissed, "Do it." He added, leaving the room.

"Hey, you staying in here for a while?" Cuddy looked up at House fiddled with the a syringe that he had found. He looked at her, and nodded, before sitting down in the seat Wilson had just vacated. For a few moments, he simply stared at her, before leaning down and kissing her forehead. She looked up at him, slightly surprised, "House?"

"Though I hate to admit it to you Cuddy," he stood, "I'm going to miss you. More than I think you're ever going to know." Turning, he made his way towards the door, resting his hand on it. "Bye Lisa."

"Wait," Cuddy looked up, "Can you stay for a bit?" House turned, looking confused, but he sat down besides her on the bed.

"What?" He ran his fingers through her hair slowly, "What's wrong?" She shook her head, tears slipping down her cheeks as he pulled his hand away. "One moment, let me close the blinds so we can talk alone." He got up and closed them, before sitting back down besides her.

"I'm cold," Cuddy shivered slightly, wrapping her arms around her, "Can you lay with me for a bit?"

"Cuddy," House began, "let me just get you another blanket or something. Some tea maybe?"

"No," she protested, "I want you to stay here."

"I'll call a nurse in," he stood and sat on the edge of the bed again, "I'm not going anywhere."

"House, please," Cuddy managed a weak smile, "it's not often that I give you a chance to lay with me without you making some sexual comment about us then me getting upset at you after wards. Please, just, lay here for a bit." For a few moments, he seemed to hesitate with her request, before he leaned back and curled on the bed with her, one am behind her head and the other holding hers loosely. She looked up at him, her eyes alight, "Thanks House," she snuggled against his chest, "I feel better already."

A few minutes went by, House running his hand through Cuddy's hair and her head resting on his chest, her eyes closed in relaxation, before either of them spoke. They were enjoying the company of one another, but at the same time, there was so much to say between them. And it was good that Cuddy broke the silence a few minutes later.

"I'm scared, Greg," he noticed the use of his first name, but he let her continue without question, "I don't want to die yet."  
Unsure of exactly what to say, House leaned down; resting his lips against her forehead, "Don't be scared, it's going to be okay, no matter what happens."

"I don't want to die alone, House," back to his last name, he noted, "I've loved the same person for almost thirty years, but I can't admit it to them. I don't want to die when I know that they don't know how I feel about them. Maybe it's my own selfishness asking that I tell them, or maybe it's the hope that they'll be happier knowing what I feel for them – I don't know which."  
Slightly stunned, and hurt at the fact that Cuddy seemingly didn't have any sort of romantic feelings towards him, House reacted out of what he felt was pure idiocy. He leaned down, brushing his lips against hers, before wrapping his arm around her and nibbling her lower lip slightly. After realizing what he was doing, he pulled back quickly, surprised that Cuddy hadn't said anything, before making an apology of sorts, "I'm serious about what I said Cuddy, I'll miss you, more than you could ever know." She nodded, more tears slipping down her cheeks, but he wasn't sure if they were sad tears, angry tears, or happy tears, and he didn't really want to run the risk of being snapped at for prying in business that wasn't his.

"I … I … I love you," she whispered quietly, "I never knew, that you ever felt anything for me."

"I didn't want to tell you, I mean, I'm not the guy who looks for a long-term relationship anyways." House began, "Why didn't you ever tell me how you felt about me?"

"I didn't want to get my heart broken, or anything like that." She wiped a few tears, this time of joy, off her cheeks and went on, "Like you said, I know you're not one for long-term relationships, so I figured that one night together again would break my heart even more. There were some times, when I thought that you did love me, before now, and that we could have had a romantic relationship. But, then after that, there was always something that proved me wrong."

"But you never said anything, even after I came back from Mayfield, why?"

"I never expected to have my lifetime cut in half like this," Cuddy snuggled into his arms, her head resting on his chest, "I always thought we would have more time, that all the ridiculous things we've said would catch up with us one day. Not in five months after you got back, I always thought we had more time than that."

"So did I Lise," House held her hand, rubbing his thumb against her palm, "So did I." He kissed her forehead, "Make yourself comfortable here," he added as Cuddy snuggled into him embrace, "I'm not going anywhere very soon."

"I'll always love you Gregory House," Cuddy whispered, her eyes closed in relaxation, "Always and forever." She whispered quietly, drifting off into a peaceful and relaxed sleep. Though he didn't want to sleep, in fear of this being the last time they would speak, House kept himself alert before exhaustion claimed him after a few minutes.

House stretched, hearing a chatter of voices in the room and he looked up to see Wilson standing with a woman that he recognized as Cuddy's sister, Karen. Hearing him stir, both of them looked towards him, and House could only guess what they were about to say.

"House," Wilson began, "You are the worst person I have ever known to do something so insensitive at this time. How much sleep did you need to catch up on to not even ..." He began, but Karen interrupted him.

"You loved Lisa didn't you?" She asked, seeing House nod, "Let's go James, give House a few moments." Karen gripped his arm and dragged him from the room, leaving House staring after them, feeling completely alone for the first time in weeks. He brushed a few loose strands of hair off Cuddy's forehead, tears suddenly blurring his vision, he couldn't cry now, he told himself.

"I love you Lisa Cuddy," House whispered, his lips warm against her cold forehead, "Always and forever." He sighed, extracting himself from Cuddy's limp grasp and he sank into the chair besides the bed, his face in his hands. "Why did we have to wait Lisa?" he asked aloud to the silent room, "Why couldn't we have more time? Why did we have to be so blind to what everyone already saw?" House stood, kissing her lips gently, "I love you." He whispered against them, before walking, head hung in defeat, from the room.

Wilson and Karen watched him go, both too stunned at his sudden change in demeanor over the past day, to say anything to him. Instead, they simply exchanged silent glances. Looking completely dumb-struck at this new House, Wilson took out a pen and wrote the words, 'Time of Death: 11:34 PM; January 14, 2010' before tossing Cuddy's file onto a table. He sat down, guilt welling up inside of him, all these years, when he'd tried to convince House and Cuddy that they were right for each other, he played with their hearts as if they were puppets. Then, only after that and the expression on House's face a few moments ago as he had left Cuddy's room, could he understand why they never acted on his suggestions.

It wasn't simply love that kept them together, they were incomplete without the other right there besides them.

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AN: There's more I wanted to add, but I'm so depressed after that bit I need to stop writing. I might do a companion piece to this, but don't count on it.

xx  
- Katheryn Mae Wilson


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